Feel
by Jessiegurl43953
Summary: Behind the Prince masquerade, Yuki is searching for something to bring him alive again. Hatsuharu X Yuki. Complete.
1. Chapter One

Chapter One

"Y-Yuki?"

_Oh no._ I thought bitterly.

The windows threw rectangles of light into the quiet hallway. The bell had rung a while ago, and I had thought I was alone. But obviously I wasn't.

"Yes?" I turned to meet the speaker, erasing any sign of weariness and exasperation from my face. She didn't really want to talk to _me_, after all. She was here to talk to the Prince.

"I was w-wondering…" It was a girl I had never noticed before. A first-year, perhaps. "I-If I could, um, maybe, you know…" Her eyes were sparkling with determination. She looked so optimistic. I wanted to point out to her that hopefulness would only get her hurt in the end, but the Prince nodded encouragingly. "Walk y-you home?"

_Of course not._

"I'm sorry." I watched her face fall. The sparkle disappeared. "I live so far away. I wouldn't want you to go to the trouble." I forced the corners of my mouth to turn upward. I briefly wondered if she noticed that my smile didn't reach my eyes.

"Oh. I see." She whispered, and then we stood there in the empty hallway. Flecks of dust fell in the rectangles of light. The sound of her shuffling her feet resonated in the awkward silence.

_Go away…_

"I guess, well, um, goodbye!" I watched her hastily bow and then retreat down the hall. She disappeared around a corner, as I thought about the irony of the situation. My greatest desire was to be a part of the world outside the Sohma family, but whenever I had a chance, I simply became…frustrated.

_I guess it's because it makes me feel like such a liar._

* * *

I shrugged into my winter coat, as I pushed open the school doors. The winter air immediately stung my lungs, and I regretted leaving my scarf at home.

I began trudging through the snow toward the street, as I quickly surveyed the schoolyard. I didn't care to have any more encounters. I didn't want to be the Prince any more today.

"Yuki."

_Not again. _I inwardly groaned.

Suddenly a heavy arm was thrown across my shoulders, heating my neck instantly.

_Wait…_

A warm body pushed against my side, and I looked up. A pair of gray eyes met my own. "Hi." Haru smiled. His hot breath breezed across my cheeks.

"What are you still doing here?" I inquired, shifting nervously. I wondered if anyone was seeing this, and I anxiously glanced around. Haru exhaled again, and his breath gently traced the outline of my ear. I wiggled uncomfortably under the weight of his arm.

_Stop standing so close._

"You're tense." It wasn't a question. Even the appearance of the Prince didn't faze him. It was intimidating how well he knew me. Intimidating and upsetting.

"Stop being so affectionate. What if someone sees?" I scowled, turning so I could face him better. "And you never answered my question. What are you doing here?" Haru shifted his weight, and our stomachs brushed together.

_Stop standing so close!_

"I was worried about you." Haru explained, and I blinked in surprise.

"Why were you worried about me? I only stayed after school for an hour."

"Because." He shrugged, leaning closer, forcing his belt buckle into my coat buttons. I noticed his soft eyes were very serious all of a sudden. "What would I do without you?"

My eyes widened in surprise. Or perhaps it was embarrassment. Either way, I slid out from under his arm and began walking toward the street again, desperately trying to erase the blush from my face. "I thought I told you to stop saying things like that."

Snow began to crunch behind me, as Haru hurried back to my side. "I don't want to keep my emotions inside." He was beside me again. I felt him reach for my hand, so I tucked it in my pocket. "After all, you do enough of that for the both of us."

_What!?_

I spun around in the snow, scattering the flakes behind me. I knew that his words were true, and so did he, but that didn't give him the right to have a casual conversation about it. "Don't you ever say something like…" My voice trailed off. He was smiling.

"It's okay, Yuki." He said, and you could even hear the smile in his voice. It really was okay to him that I was so ugly inside.

_It's not okay._

Haru slipped his fingers insidemy pocket, reaching for the hand I had tucked there. The two sets of fingers slowly intertwined, filling my hand with warmth. And then we were walking, our hands swinging between us. I could tell Haru was still grinning.

"Can I walk you home?"

It was my turn to smile. "Yes."

The sun glistened on our footprints in the snow, as I allowed myself to forget just for a moment that someone might be watching.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I don't own _Fruits Basket_ nor any of it's wonderful characters. I do, however, own the plot of this story. Aren't I special? xD

AN: Well, what does everyone think (Leave a review to tell me!)? I haven't written a new fanfiction in years, but I'm glad I wrote this one.

Readers of my other stories will realize that this fic is playing off an idea I've used before. I'm approaching it a bit differently, I think, but basically it's the whole Yuki's-An-Ass-And-Treats-Haru-Like-Shit-But-Haru-Loves-Him-Anyway thing. Lol.

Anywho, Chapter Two will be up next Tuesday.

Thanks for reading!

- Jessiegurl43953


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

"I'm home!" I called out, slipping out of my shoes in the foyer before I headed into the living room.

"Yuki! Welcome home." Tohru exclaimed, appearing in the kitchen's doorway with a wooden cooking spoon in her hand. "Oh! Hatsuharu, you're here, too."

"Hello." He replied, appearing behind me. I felt his fingers curl around the back of my shirt.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Tohru asked excitedly, but neither Haru nor I got the chance to reply. A figure came flying out of the hallway leading to Shigure's office and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. I flailed my arms out helplessly, as Haru's fingers were knocked away, and I was practically thrown into the wall.

"Little brother!"

_Oh, not him! Anyone but him!_

"A-Ayame? I think you're hurting him…" I heard Tohru stammered fretfully, and I could just imagine the worried expression on her face. But, unfortunately, I couldn't actually see anything, but Ayame's chest.

_He's going to die!_

"Oh, Aya! Why don't you ever hold _me_ so lovingly!?" Apparently Shigure had entered the room as well. I wanted to tell him that I was being strangled, not held, but I was struggling to breath as it was. "I invited you over so that _we_ could be _together_!"

_You invited him!? You're going to die, too!_

"Get off of me!" I growled angrily, trying to thrash away from his grip, but Ayame simply held on tighter and began talking to Shigure.

"Oh, Gure! Don't be jealous! You know my heart belongs to you!"

"Aya, my beloved, how could I have ever doubted you!?"

"I forgive you! From now on, we'll be together!"

"Yes, together!"

"Gure!"

"Aya!"

"Off." A third voice suddenly cut in. It was Haru.

"Huh?" My brother and Shigure replied. I could hear Tohru to the side, her anxious voice almost becoming hysterical.

"Get off of Yuki." Ayame's arms abruptly fell away, revealing a very irritated Haru standing nearby. A heavy silence enveloped the room as Haru's intense eyes glared threateningly at my brother. Tohru eyed the two of them nervously, her hands fidgeting with her spoon.

Suddenly Ayame let out a choked, panicky laugh before retreating quickly to Shigure's side. "Ha, ha, ha…ha…Gure, darling, let's go back to your office!" He rushed, and then he disappeared as hurriedly as he came, dragging Shigure along with him.

I let out a sigh of relief and flashed Haru a small, appreciative smile.

_Thank you._

Haru's face lit up, as he returned my smile.

"H-Hatsuharu? Did you, um, go B-Black?" Tohru inquired apprehensively, snapping the two of us out of our silent communication. I had almost forgotten that she was there, almost forgotten to be the Prince, and I turned away with a blush.

_Did she notice me looking at him so affectionately?_

"No." Haru deadpanned. And then he grabbed my arm and pulled me down to sit at the table and watch TV as if nothing had happened.

* * *

"Yuki smiles more often."

I stopped when I heard Shigure say my name from behind the living room door. It was late in the evening. Haru had went home hours before, and dinner had been over for so long now that I was beginning to get hungry again. But unfortunately, the late hour hadn't succeeded in driving Ayame from the house. He was still here and apparently talking to Shigure about me in the living room.

"Does he? That's good. I'm glad." My brother whispered, and his voice sounded so sincere that I felt sorry for him. Just for a moment, though. "I just wish I was the one making him smile."

_You could never make me smile. You're one of the reasons I can't smile in the first place._

"We're just going to have to leave that job to Tohru." Shigure responded. Someone took a sip of tea.

"Yes, a prince always needs a princess. But isn't the prince the one who's suppose to do the saving?" Ayame laughed.

"Well, Yuki did save Tohru from living in the woods. But you're right, Tohru is Yuki's savior. Without her, he couldn't smile at all."

_Then how come almost all the smiles I give Tohru are fake? Reassuring smiles…the kind the Prince specializes in…_

"You're right. I'm glad Yuki has such a…wonderful source of strength."

_I'm not strong at all…you don't know what you're talking about._

"You know…" Shigure whispered, his voice becoming mischievous. "I would even go as far to say that Yuki _loves_ Tohru!" They errupted into childish giggles.

"I just _know_ you're right! I bet Yuki doesn't mind turning into a rat _at all_ when it's his princess giving out the hugs!" More giggles. I clenched my fists.

_That's not true._

I abandoned my spot outside the door and headed for the stairs. I just needed to ignore them and go to bed. Neither of them really knew me. If they did, they would understand that Tohru hadn't save me at all. She had simply helped me become more comfortable as the Prince. She was my link to the outside world. Her kindness was an example of how the Prince should act. When she touched me, it felt distant. It felt like…she was touching someone else, and I just happened to be there to witness it.

No. Tohru hadn't saved me. With her innocence, she probably couldn't even comprehend how hideous I was inside. It was true that she had experienced hard times, but I was different.

I was broken.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Fruits Basket nor any of it's wonderful characters. I do, however, own the plot of this story. Aren't I special? xD

AN: First and foremost, I'd like to thank my friends, Odango43938 and SakuraBubbles. They've given me wonderful advice and encouragement! ::cling::

Then there's pookie crisp. No, dear, you can't be in the story. Lol.

lymerai, Haru and Yuki do make an adorable couple, don't they? ::smiles blissfullly with you::

Peter James, thank you for saying that the characterization is close to that of the manga. I wasn't exactly sure if Yuki was in-character or not, so your comment made me really happy!

Sagi-chan, I'm glad you find my writing original! xD

Anywho, look for Chapter Three next Tuesday!

Thanks for reading!

- Jessiegurl43953


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

"Open…" I murmured, jiggling the handle of my locker. It was unbelievable how complicated a little, metal door could be. It didn't even have a combination lock. I jerked at the handle. The Prince would recommend patience in this situation, so of course I was cursing under my breath.

_Finally! _I groaned, as the tiny door swung open revealing my gym shoes. Just what I had came here for. I began to reach inside-

"Yuki."

"Ah!" I gasped, jumping in surprise. I hadn't heard anyone approaching. I spun around to face whoever was addressing me. Unfortunately, while I was doing that, my arm hit my locker door. It rattled shut. My gym shoes were still inside.

_Shit._

"Having trouble?" The speaker asked. It was Haru. If I hadn't been so infuriated over my locker, I would've asked him why he thought it was always necessary to sneak up on me.

"Obviously." I growled, turning back to the defiant, little door.

_Open!_

"I'm skipping class." He said offhandedly. I heard him begin to move towards me.

"That isn't something you should exactly brag about." I joggled the handle impatiently. Haru's footsteps weren't stopping. I briefly wondered how close he was planning on getting before I focused on the locker again.

I got an answer to my question, though. The next time Haru spoke, his voice was right next to my ear. "I know." He whispered, and my hands began to fumble on the handle, as I realized that he had just pressed his whole body gently against my back.

_What if someone sees us!?_

"Haru, what are you doing?" I coughed nervously, leaning towards my locker. He was so close that I could hear the soft _click _of his necklaces as they collided with each other.

"I'm skipping class." Haru moved to my side and threw an arm over my shoulders like he usually did. Only he usually wasn't so close. I tried to swallow. It didn't work.

_What if someone sees!? _I attempted to glance around and see if anyone was watching, but Haru was everywhere. I couldn't see past him.

"You know what I mean." I tried to sound angry. I failed. My throat was so tight I could barely breath. "Why are you so…close?"

"No reason." Haru shrugged, and his whole body moved with his shoulder, brushing lightly against mine.

"I, uh, see…"

_Time to turn my attention back to the locker! _

We stood there a few moments in silence, as I desperately attacked the door. Seconds felt like minutes while my fingers were awkwardly tugging at the handle and Haru's arm was on my shoulders. I was painfully aware that every time he exhaled, his warm breath crawled underneath my chin, and for an instant, it felt as if he were cupping my face. My throat still wasn't working, and it seemed, after a while, that my fingers wanted to follow it's example.

_I can't take this._

"Haru, stop it."

"Stop what?"

I released an aggravated sigh. He still wasn't moving.

"Haru." I turned to face him. "You know perfectly well what I'm talking about-" I was very aware that Haru was close to me, but I hadn't actually realized how close he really was, and before I could understand what was happening, my turning around had brought us a lot closer than we had been moments before.

My eyes widened in horror. His widened in surprise. Our lips…were touching.

_Oh. No._

"Yuki…?" My mouth felt every syllable of my name that Haru muttered. I involuntarily shivered at the sensation, and then his gray eyes began searching mine. They were hypnotizing. I didn't even notice Haru pull his arm off my shoulder until his hand gently touched my face. His fingers were cool against my flustered cheek.

And then the spell was broken.

The room echoed with the rattling sound of Haru being shoved into the lockers. He staggered against the metal doors, a stunned expression on his usually impassive face. My arms were still stretched out in front me from abruptly pushing him away. My heart had never pounded so hard.

And I noticed suddenly that he had never looked so heartbroken.

_I'm sorry…_

I backed up a few unsteady steps before spinning around and breaking into a run. I couldn't stand to see Haru anymore. I couldn't stand to see his soothing face look so forlorn. It was just a reminder of how terrible I was. A reminder of how I was so hurtful.

My noisy footsteps that resounded in the rows of lockers reminded me of when I had run away from Ayame and Shigure's conversation the night before. They had called me strong. But I always fled from all my problems. And here I was, running away from the only person who truly understood me. What would those two say if they saw me now?

_I hate myself._

I burst into the main hallway, gasping for air. I glanced over my shoulder, and saw no sign of the boy I had left behind. My stomach turned. He was probably still where I left him.

_Footsteps!_

I turned my attention away from the lockers and back to the hallway I was standing in. A few members of the student council were walking towards me. I pushed Haru from my mind, as I forced a smile to my face. I had to think of something clever to say to the people who were now returning my smile. One of them waved.

The Prince reminded me to fix my hair.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Fruits Basket nor any of it's wonderful characters. I do, however, own the plot of this story. Aren't I special? xD

AN: This chapter was suppose to be posted on Tuesday, but I am updating early, obviously. That is because today, January 2, is my b-day! This new chapter is my present to all of you in celebration. xD

Although, I'm sure everyone still hates me after what I did to Haru this chapter, but trust me! Next week things will start to improve. Lol.

Now for my reviewers! First, thank you so much, Odango43938 and SakuraBubbles! ::cling::

Sagi-chan, I'm glad you enjoyed Aya! My friends were happy with his appearance, too. And no, Haru didn't turn Black. He was simply irked. I'm sorry for the confusion!

Bass Star Cardians Webmis, thank you for the review!

Peter James, I'm glad you enjoyed the interaction between Aya and Haru. It was so much fun to write!

sutaretagaisce, your comment that "Ayame and Shigure are a perfect injection of humor…" was very encouraging! I wasn't sure if any comical scenes would work in such a dark fic.

PoeticIndigo, I appreciated the review!

lymerai, yay! I'm happy you see my point. I always thought Tohru helped Kyo out more.

The next chapter will be posted on January 11! I have to get back on schedule.

Thanks for reading!

- Jessiegurl43953


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

"_Tohru_! Kyo's _picking_ on me!"

Across the table, that stupid cat was digging his fist into the top of Momiji's blond head, and the younger boy was crying his eyes out, desperately trying to crawl away from Kyo and into the safety of Tohru's arms. Someone's leg flailed out and kicked the table. My dinner practically slid onto the floor.

"K-Kyo, don't you think you should be gentler?" Tohru exclaimed, unsuccessfully trying to put an end to the sudden skirmish.

"No! He's getting what he deserves!" I clenched my fists around my chopsticks. Why did that stupid cat have to be so loud? Didn't he see that everyone was trying to eat?

It was later the same day of my accidental 'kiss' with Haru. I hadn't talked to him since then, even though I had gotten plenty of chances. At lunch, he sat across from me on the roof, and he had also been behind me while everyone was walking home. And even now I had a chance to make amends. When Tohru had invited Momiji for dinner earlier, Haru had been asked to come as well. Now he was sitting right beside me, aimlessly picking at his fish. He looked so hopeless.

_But what am I suppose to say to him?_

"Yuki, watch out!" Tohru's sudden shout brought me out of my thoughts, and I turned my attention back to the table…just in time to knock away a bowl of rice that had been flying towards my face.

"Stupid cat, what are you doing?" I hissed, glaring at Kyo from under my bangs.

"Why the hell are you blaming me, you damn rat!? It's that brat's fault for ducking when I threw it at him!" Kyo leaped up from the table into a defensive position, readying himself for a fight. I watched his chopsticks splinter in his fist.

"Um. Yuki, Kyo, let's not tear up my house, okay?" I ignored Shigure's chuckle, and mimicked Kyo's stance. Even Tohru's sudden panicked pleas for us to stop fell on deaf ears. My day had been awful. I needed someone to take it out on.

"That's it, you stupid cat."

"Bring it on, rat boy!" He laughed confidently, and then the next few moments were a blur of punches, kicks, and hasty dodges. I was surprised when Kyo managed to block my first several attacks, but my foot found itself under his chin soon enough. Tohru gasped as he collided with the front door and then went sailing right through it. Shigure sobbed somewhere off to the side.

"Kyo! Are you alright!?" Tohru cried, flinging herself after Kyo. Momiji got up to follow her curiously, and I watched them stumble through the remainder of the front door.

A minute later, Momiji's gleeful voice rang out. "It's snowing! It's snowing!" And then, as if to prove my younger cousin's point, a sudden gust of wind blew away the remnants of the broken door. Tohru, Momiji, and Kyo were revealed, and they were framed by a brilliant white. The white was snow…snow that reached almost to the roof. My mouth dropped open.

"It's not _just _snowing! It's a damn blizzard!" I had to agree with Kyo this time.

"Well, will you look at that!" Shigure exclaimed with a laugh, completely unfazed by a mountain of ice suddenly surrounding his house. He pushed himself up from the table and began heading for his office. "I suppose Haru and Momiji will just have to spend the night here! I'll just call Ha'ri and tell him."

_Wait…what did he just say?_ Haru obviously felt the same concern, because his head snapped up to frown at Shigure's retreating back.

I wanted to go after Shigure and protest…tell him that it was impossible for Haru to stay any longer. I didn't care if the snow was two times higher than the house. Even if he stayed in another room, even if I didn't see him for the rest of the evening, he just couldn't stay. I would go crazy knowing he was so close.

"It's settled than!" Tohru's voice shook me from my thoughts, and I turned around to see what she was talking about. I noticed Haru out of the corner of my eye. He looked even more distressed than he had a moment ago.

_What did I miss?_

"Yeah!" Momiji vigorously nodded his head at Tohru, agreeing with what she had just said. "I'll sleep with mean Kyo-"

"Hey! Watch it!"

Momiji chose to ignore the stupid cat's sudden outburst and continue. What he said however, made me wish Kyo had screamed forever. "And Haru can sleep with Yuki!"

* * *

I had been uncomfortable many times in my life. Whenever someone was speaking to the Prince I felt a bit of unease, and I was also on edge every time I transformed. Then there were the times when Akito would lean over me, dark eyes flashing maliciously. Those times were awful.

But never in my life had I ever been as uncomfortable as I was that night. The silence was deafening, as I watched Haru. I was sitting in my desk chair, and he was on the floor, making a bed for himself. His back was turned to me, and I could tell he was tense. I wanted to reach my hand out and somehow help him relax.

_But what am I suppose to say to him?_

The Prince was so good with words. However, the only thing I could think to say to Haru was a simple apology. But that wasn't enough, I knew. Haru deserved more. He deserved _a lot_ more.

_But a simple apology is all I can give him…_

"H-Haru?" I could barely hear my whisper over my pounding heart.

Haru looked up from assembling his bed. He didn't look surprised that I had spoken. He looked annoyed. I shifted uneasily under his icy gaze.

"I'm sorry." I had hoped he would show some sign of forgiveness or at least a smile, but neither of those things appeared on his face. His irritated expression simply melted into a sad one. He turned back to his bed without speaking a word. I felt my throat clench.

The room was silent again. Unbearably silent. Seconds bled into minutes. "Haru, please, say something."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to say…" I didn't know. He somehow always knew just what I wanted to hear, and I wanted him to forgive me with those perfect words. "…that it's okay."

"That what's okay? That you hurt me or that you're selfish?" I flinched.

"I'm sorry I'm selfish." I whispered honestly. "But I really want to be a part of the outside world. You _must_ understand that. I'm tired of living in this…cage." He had to understand that…he understood _me._

My heart fell when Haru's response was spoken in the same bitter voice he had been using the entire conversation. Apparently he didn't care to understand anything. "So what you want me to say is that it's okay for you to sacrifice the people who love you for some strangers?"

"That's not it!" I rushed. Why couldn't he see that earlier had been a mistake? "I just want to be normal. That's what I want you to say is okay…"

Haru suddenly abandoned his spot beside his bed. I held my breath as he moved to lean over me, his hands resting on my chair's arms. His familiar gray eyes were flashing with anger. "You know what's okay? Who you really are, Yuki. So what if other people aren't cursed? There are other strict families out there, and everyone knows pain. If you don't have scars on your heart, than you're not human. And that's what you're trying to prove, isn't it, Yuki? That you're human, too?"

I stared at him with wide eyes. _Was_ I trying to prove my humanity? I had never thought about it.

"I…don't know." I said weakly, shrinking away from his angry eyes.

"Why do you think those people in the outside world can heal you? What can they do for you, Yuki?" He continued, ignoring my uncertainty. I couldn't remember ever seeing him so serious. "They only know the Prince."

I sat there in silence a few moments, hoping that he would give up. Hoping that he would stop asking questions that challenged the reasoning I had been following for so long. But his angry eyes were also determined ones. I sighed in defeat. "They accept the Prince."

"The Prince isn't you." Haru protested.

"No." I agreed, looking away. "But they would never accept me…no one would."

He touched my face softly and frowned. "_I_ accept you, Yuki."

I batted his hand away. "Then you must not know me as well as I thought you did."

Haru's frown transformed into an amused smile. "I do." His hand that I had swatted away returned, and it tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "And even if I didn't, I would gladly learn about you."

His fingertips briefly touched my cheek, as he pulled his hand away. Then he too pulled away, leaving me to my thoughts. Once more, the room was silent.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Fruits Basket nor any of it's wonderful characters. I do, however, own the plot of this story. Aren't I special? xD

AN: As always, I have to thank Odango43938 for taking the time to correct any mistakes I made. However, the person who _really_ helped me out this chapter was SakuraBubbles. Without her, I couldn't have finished this at all! Lol.

Sagi-chan, I love reviews like yours. They're very encouraging! I hope everyone was in-character this chapter as well.

lymerai, I think the reason Haru seemed so inanimate last chapter was because I spent too much time on Yuki's thoughts. I'm sorry!

Bass Star Cardians Webmis, thank you for the review!

blu-rain, your review made me so happy! When I first began writing this fic, my objective was to create a story about how Yuki seemed to have two different personalities : Himself and the Prince. Like how Haru was both White Haru and Black Haru, you know? But then about halfway through the second chapter, the story just began writing itself, and I strayed a little from my goal. Lol. But I'm glad you noticed how I tried to separate the two personalities.

ruji, I plan to keep writing until the very end! xD

Peter James, I've never written romantic physical interactions between two characters, so it's very heartening to hear that you enjoyed the closeness Yuki and Haru shared the last chapter!

SSC-backwards, I'm glad you enjoy my writing so much! I hope you thought this chapter was just as good.

Tokenblackchick, ::huggles back::

And to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, thank you very much!

The fifth and final (Yes, as in the last one. Lol.) chapter of _Feel_ will be posted next Tuesday!

Thanks for reading!

- Jessiegurl43953


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

The morning sun made the snow outside the kitchen window look like glass. I stared at it, as I absentmindedly dried the cup in my hand. Ever since my conversation with Haru the night before, I'd been lost in thought. Everything he'd said…it was everything I'd never thought of before.

"Yuki?" A concerned voice interrupted my contemplation. Tohru stood beside me, the dishes she was washing clinking against the bottom of the sink. I noticed offhandedly that the soap suds looked like vines climbing up her arms. "You look worried. Is everything alright?"

_No._ I thought, as I looked down at the cup in my hand. _Were Haru's words true? Did other people really hurt like I did? And if so, were they liars, too? Were they as ugly as me inside?_

"Yuki?"

_Was I more human than I thought? All along, had I been working to belong to a world I already fit into?_

"Yuki, are you okay?"

I rolled the cup into my other hand. Before Haru had asked me why I thought the outside world could heal me, I had been so sure that it would save me. Somewhere along the line, I had begun to believe that transforming myself into an outsider would somehow remove me from the Sohma family. Would ease the pain I was drowning in. Would obliterate my self-hatred. Would help me feel less numb. But that all seemed so ridiculous now. Haru was right. What could they possibly do for me when they only knew the Prince?

A hand suddenly tapped my shoulder. I jumped backwards in surprise, and the cup almost spun out of my fingers. I had completely forgotten that Tohru was there.

"Uh, sorry. Were you saying something?" I inquired, embarrassed that I had been so completely dazed.

Tohru's worried face stared up at mine, her turquoise eyes searching my own. "Yuki, are you feeling okay? You're not acting like yourself…"

_Huh? _

I must have looked as confused as I felt, because Tohru continued. "You're…distant. Usually you're so friendly!"

_Friendly? What is she talking about-_ I realized suddenly what was wrong...why she was looking at me as if I was a stranger. My eyes widened in horror. This whole time we had been washing dishes, I had forgotten to be the Prince!

"I…uh…" I franticly began to search through my mind for some kind of excuse. For some kind of lie. Anything.

"Yuki? You're sweating. Do you have a fever?"

_That's it! I'll blame all of this on a fever. Or maybe- _Tohru pressed her hand against my cheek in concern, and a wave of familiarity washed over me. My frenzied thoughts abruptly stopped, as I tried to remember why her gesture was recognizable.

Then it came to me. The night before, Haru had placed his hand on my face in the same way. Her fingertips were even spread out just as his had been. There was a difference, though. I remembered him leaning over me, his intense, gray eyes peering into my own. His words echoed in my head. _"_I_ accept you, Yuki." _He had _touched _me, while with Tohru, I could barely feel her hand.

I examined Tohru's innocent face. She and I had never actually had a conversation. All her words had been given to the Prince and his fake smiles. They would laugh together, eat together, study together, and all along I was nothing but an onlooker. A spectator that Tohru didn't even know existed. Haru, however, saved all his special words for me, and the laughs we shared didn't belong to anyone else. He made me feel. He knew who I really was.

"_You know what's okay? Who you really are, Yuki."_

"Excuse me." I murmured, pulling away from Tohru and exiting the kitchen. How could I have been so blind? I had been so focussed on distant goals that I never saw what had been standing right in front of me all along. I didn't need to be praised by my teachers. I didn't need to be accepted by the other students. I didn't need to mimic their shallow smiles and mocking laughs. I didn't need the world. I needed Haru.

"Yuki? Did I do something to upset you?" Tohru exclaimed, but I didn't respond. I simply hurried down the hallway, searching for Haru. Where had he told me he was going again? To take a bath?

"_So what you want me to say is that it's okay for you to sacrifice the people who love you for some strangers?" _Last night, while Haru and I were arguing, he had spoken those words to me. At the time, I had been too engrossed in the conversation to notice the subtle "I love you.", but as I was hurrying down the hallway, I frowned. How many of Haru's affection words had I not noticed? How many loving glances and kind gestures had I overlooked? I shook my head, as if to shake the shame away. It didn't work.

_I promise, Haru, that I will make up for every lost moment!_

Suddenly the bathroom door was in front of me, and I panted for breath. Now that I was here, I wasn't sure what to say to him. I wasn't even sure if I had the courage to knock. I was so afraid that he would speak to me in the same cold voice he used last night…so afraid that he wouldn't forgive me.

I ended up not having to knock at all, however. I was shocked out of my panicked thoughts by the door abruptly sliding open, revealing a surprised Haru. A surprised Haru with hair and skin still damp from his bath, and who had yet to put on a shirt. I blushed and quickly looked away in embarrassment.

"Yuki?" Haru said after a moment of awkward silence.

"I, uh, have to talk to you about something." I stammered. I still didn't know what to say to him. After all, how do you tell someone that they are everything to you? I wasn't sure that even the Prince could think of words perfect enough.

"Oh." He replied, and I nervously shuffled my feet. I could feel him staring at me, waiting for words that I still needed to find. But the words wouldn't come, and a few minutes followed of my pounding heart being the only noise.

"Yuki, do you hate me?" My mouth dropped open in surprise, and I turned to stare at him. I hadn't been expecting that, especially since I had come here to tell him the exact opposite. I didn't even think it was possible for anyone to hate Haru. But he was serious…his eyes were filled with unease.

_Did I really treat you _that_ badly?_ My stomach turned with self-hatred.

"No! That's not it at all…I…uh…" I gazed into his apprehensive eyes. Damp pieces of hair fell into them, and I thought of all the different things those piercing eyes made me feel. They made me swell with happiness…they made me want to run away. "I'm…I _was_ afraid of you. You're so carefree…it's…intimidating."

Haru looked taken aback, but not offended, and I felt my heart calm some. The Prince usually handled difficult conversations like this, and I wasn't quite sure how to express my feelings yet. But I hadn't hurt Haru. And it felt good to be able to do something right on my own.

"Then what did you want to tell me?" Haru said, and I shifted my weight from one foot to the other apprehensively. This was it. I had to find those words.

"I wanted to tell you…" I began nervously, hoping that everything would come together as I spoke. "That you're always there when I need you to be. And…that you always say the right things. And you…you know…are special to me." Haru blinked.

_This isn't working._ I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. How could he make saying "I love you." look so simple? I slowly studied his bewildered face.

_I need to tell him, but how?_

"Yuki?" I watched his lips move with my name, and I shivered, as I remembered how it had felt to be so close to those syllables. It was like the world had dissolved around us, and I had even needed to remind myself to breathe. I had been so content, like I belonged there. I had never felt as if I belonged anywhere before, and I wanted to feel like that again. And I wanted Haru to know that's how I felt.

I was suddenly moving forward, closing the gap between us. His beautiful gray eyes widened in astonishment, as I determinedly placed my hands on his bare shoulders. For the first time in my life, I felt no fear or indecision, and I realized as I pulled Haru close that the reason I didn't feel those things is because there was no need to. Touching that mouth for the second time was so natural and real, like everything leading up to it had been a dream.

Haru didn't ask for any explanations for the impulsive kiss. He simply smiled gently against my lips, as he pulled me closer. I had known he would understand. After all, Haru had _always_ understood me.

The end.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Fruits Basket or any of its wonderful characters. I do, however, own the plot of this story. Aren't I special? xD

AN: I am so, so, _so_ unbelievably sorry for the delay on this fanfiction! I know how terrible it is when an author suddenly stops updating, and I _cannot_ believe I became one of those authors. I have an excuse, though... You see, my personal life became a disaster over the past couple of months. My cousin passed away, and a precancerous condition was found on my grandfather's arms and face. Plus, I got my wisdom teeth removed. I've been quite busy and distressed. :sighs:

This fanfiction's sudden, unannounced hiatus was inexcusable and selfish of me, but I want everyone to know that I received _no_ angry, demanding emails or reviews. However, what I did receive was countless encouraging messages that made my hard times a little more bearable. AkimaDM, backlash, Bass Star Cardians Webmistress, Billy the Kangaroo, blu-rain, CloverRock, dizzy-otaku, eathra, Forgotten Memories, HarahettaMonkeyKing, Kaay-chan, Kikei, Knux girl, Lawr, lil'hp fan124, Miyosuke, Odango43938, Peter James, PoeticIndigo, pookie crisp, PunkRockerPenguin, ruji, Sagi-chan, SakuraBubbles the Muffin Child, SSC-backwards, sutaretagaisce, Tokenblackchick, and all my readers that didn't review, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I just hope this chapter was worth the wait. :sweatdrop:

- Until next time, Jessiegurl43953


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